Writing a eulogy or funeral speech for someone that was a near, dear friend or relative is not an extremely difficult thing to do. More than likely you have plenty of memories with this person and a ton of good things to say about them. You can talk about their childhood and the adventures you had with them. You can talk about specific memories that will bring tears to the eyes of your audience. You can talk about happy moments and sad moments. The list is almost endless. However, how to write a funeral speech for someone you never liked can be a bit more difficult.
Try To Find the Positive
The first thing you need to remember is that the person you are talking about is dead. It might be tempting now that they have deceased to completely rat them out about all the bad they have done over their lives. The list is probably long and the urge is more than likely strong. However, it is not kind to talk bad about dead people, and besides, it is possible that someone in the audience liked this person. If you find out the opposite then go for it, but if your dead friend or relative was cared about even just a smidgen, you might want to keep the bad events of their life on the down low. Pretending like you are writing a eulogy for your father or close relative may help to give you some funeral speech examples.
Use a Little Trick or Two in Your Wording
Usually a eulogy begins with a sentence talking about mourning the dead person. If the person you are writing a funeral speech for was not nice, you can change that sentence around about. Instead of “mourning” the person, you can say you are here to look back on the life of that person, or to remember that person. When it comes to the end of the Funeral speech, instead of saying you miss that person, you can stretch the truth a little by stating that you all will always remember that that person’s time on this earth. It is not a lie. If they were not nice, you will at least think of them at some point. It may not be often, but the time will come.
Stretch the Truth
It is also ok to stretch the truth a bit about their life. Even if the person was the cruelest person on earth, you can always find something nice to say such as they were good at finding bargains or always remembering to remind you things. Try to find a good eulogy example to follow. Leave out the part that they were things you did not want to remember. Try and give someone in the audience a bit of peace about the dead person. Look up examples of eulogies and find an funeral speech sample that you can kind of follow to ease your tension and your mind.
Write About their Lives
If you are finding it really difficult to write nice things about someone, then write about the person’s life, at least as much as you know about it. You don’t have to talk just about them, you can talk about their parents, their wife and children, their aunts and uncles, and whatever might be kind. If you need some ideas make sure and do a few phone calls before you write the eulogy. Interview friends and family members who might have something better to say about the person than you do. Reflect on memories the person had with their family. This will make his or her relatives feel better and you get the compliment of staying positive about someone that everyone probably knows was not deserving of such a nice funeral speech.
Write out a Practice Speech
Another idea is to write out the funeral speech the way you really want to, especially if the nice eulogy is making you feel a bit ill. However, do not mistakenly take this funeral speech with you to the memorial service. This is more like a journal entry where you can get everything you wanted to say to that person off of your mind and clear your head of all of the negative thoughts you may have. Then you can begin to work on a more positive approach to your funeral speech.
Use as a Self-Reflection
Finally, use the eulogy example as a lesson. Remember how you felt when you wrote the funeral speech and try and be a better person. Remember that this is not the way you want to be remembered and begin to act accordingly.